I don’t actually believe in dating “games.” There should not be any rules on how long you have to wait to answer a text or an email or to call the person you are interested in. But can we all agree that when someone you have never met (and are not yet sure if you want to meet) answers every message in a series of emails within a minute of each one you send, instead of waiting a day, a few hours, even just a few minutes more than one, it sends a message something along the lines of “I’m far too eager and there is a very good chance I am desperate and potentially have no life at all”? Oh I know that sounds a bit awful and potentially snarky. But it’s too much. It’s just a little too much, especially if there wasn’t much about his profile that really had you very interested to begin with but you are trying to be open minded. Trying can only go so far.
When you’re on the site that offers you “guided questions” instead of just a blank email in which you have to come up with your own way to start a conversation, you get this odd little opportunity to quickly learn a few snippets about both yourself and your potential dates, simply by what questions you choose to ask, how they answer, and how you feel about both their answers and the follow up questions they picked for you to answer. For example, if you tell me that you are 1) always late 2) read 0-3 books last year and 3) never want alone time but instead want constant socialization, I am annoyed and exhausted before I’ve even looked at what questions you wanted to ask me. Or if you’ve sent me a list of questions that get very personal very fast, don’t be too surprised when my reply is “this is far too personal” since I’ve told you in my profile that I’m an introvert and it takes a bit to get to know me.
Yesterday on the 6:06 a.m. blue line train to work, a very attractive guy almost fell, nearly landing on me, and promptly sat down in the empty seat next to me. “Oh!” I thought. “This is it! I don’t have to do online dating! He’s just going to literally fall in my lap!” Until I managed to look sideways and realize he was now asleep, which was the state he stayed in for the rest of my 50 minute ride. So much for that.